How a Christian view of grace can mess with relationships

I am convinced that there is an insulating effect that comes from doing favors for people, especially favors for those who are "organizationally subordinate" to us. If I am in a decision-making position (at work, in my family, in the community, etc.) and I believe that deferral to someone else's preferences is a matter of "grace", it is easy for me to avoid contending with the fact that my outlook or understanding might be wrong. If I'm wrong, will I see it? Or will I be numbed to this possibility by the self-soothing fog of my own gracious favors?

There is another habit that believers can often fall into without seeing the dark side: love of neighbor. I mean more specifically, that particular Christian perspective that we are to "love" the people around us, even though we know we don't like them. You know, those who are less-than-acceptable morally, or perhaps those who are bit too loud, less responsible, or of another fashion sense.  Good grief.  How about we decide to like these people instead?  But you object that we can't force ourselves to like someone.  I reply that we can, if we step back several paces and realize that "they" are a lot more like us than the safety tape that separates us would indicate.

I suppose I just think we need to give more space to the opinions and  preferences of other people, and not build elaborate barriers from our religious traditions that keep us separate and superior.  We are neither.