Unforgivable

I believe there really is a sin that cannot be forgiven. No one is exempt. From the holiest to the most lowly (although, there is truly no difference).

The unforgivable sin is this: final refusal of God's forgiveness. In daily life, I think this usually takes the form of denial of the need to be forgiven. Even when we acknowledge our desperate situation, we often believe that God is unwilling to forgive.

We are busy about justifying our actions, mindset, activity … or lack of it. When we look honestly at ourselves and see the selfishness that motivates our actions, we become free to call our situation as it is.

I watch my 12-year-old son frequently, and with remarkable conviction, deny his own wrongs. So much so, that he really believes his own excuses. My heart goes out to him. He is just a smaller version of me. But his struggle is an important one -- I know he needs to go through it. He (like us) needs to understand his actions (and lack of action), and the consequences. We need to be honest with ourselves and our maker about these things. It is impossible to really grab the rope if you don’t believe you are drowning.

For many of us, trusting that God is going to hold the rope tight is a daily struggle. I wrestle with this a great deal. I think it’s the root of why I don’t pray. On some level, I just don’t think God gives a crap. The only way out (that I can tell) is when I trust God with my will, in spite of how I feel. Exercising that muscle seems to lend to freedom of use. It may sound trite, but I simply need to be faithful in the small daily things. I can’t think my way into faith, or shortcut this process. I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work.