Habits

Jon replied to the 10/29 entry: "Sometimes repetitive sin that you openly are aware of creates guilt and an undeserving feeling." This was such a good reflection; I figured I'd add a new entry as a reply.

I think the danger of habitual sin is not that God is watching to see when we will finally cross the line ... so he can squash us like bugs or exclude us from His presence against our will. The danger is that if we keep asking, just like the persistent widow, to repeat a theme: he gives us what we want.

Over time as we entertain habitual sin, we gradually loose the desire to fight it. If you are alive reading this, chances are, you know precisely what I mean. We become contented with our patterns of sin, and potentially, in the end, we prefer it (self) to God.

It may seem like a stretch, but I believe that in every case, sin is the search for some good, just using a wrong method or under the wrong circumstances. The adulterer is trying to obtain intimacy: significant connection with another. This desire in itself is very good -- we were designed for it. Even self-destructive behavior is often linked to God-given desires planted deep in us.

The deception is to think that either our internal desires, warped and corrupt as they may be, are the issue, or that our behavior is the issue. Rather, it boils down to selfishness – often choosing a very good thing instead of the best thing. Preferring creature to creator. That’s quite a mental shift. I suppose that’s why “conversion” is an apt phrase. We don’t just work on being good, and little by little score an A+. We are offered the change that radically transforms us from slavery to self, to being enabled by God to give ourselves away (even if there are frequent lapses into old habits).

But for most of us, those habits are just too comfortable, and change is just too scary. We don’t need to be good boys and girls. We need to get rid of our cowardice. Or, at least act like we are brave. Leaping is more courageous than having no fear of the drop.