Dreams and Visions

Visions and Dreams

Christmas this year has been visited by personal loss, global disasters, and bizarre warnings of apocalypse. My grandmother died last week at age 98. The tsunami from Indonesia that (at this writing) killed over 55,000, and left hundreds of thousands homeless, is apparently small in comparison to the long-shot but real potential threat to the entire US east coast lurking in the Atlantic.

Things got briefly scarier with the discovery last week that an asteroid collision with Earth was more likely than scientists had seen in recent history: about 1 in 37 around year 2029.

I woke up late this morning to learn that our power was out. Without obvious panic – because I was still half asleep, and had too much wine last night – my mind went quickly to falling-sky scenarios. I must admit that I have a morbid curiosity with impending doom. I think that’s because I’d rather not pay off several stubborn debts and reconcile with my fellow human beings … and I occasionally allow myself the false hope that the second coming would put all that to rest.

I have browsed website-tabloids claiming to have the skinny on the approximate year the earth will shift on it’s axis, all the tectonic plates will swap with ocean bottoms like square dancers, and the next gloomy ice age will begin. Brrrr. I admit that I can identify with the folks who watched OJ for hours steer around the Los Angeles highways in his white Bronco. I’m a secret sensationalist. I feed this insatiable media frenzy. I don’t mean to be callous about the tragedy of the dear people near the Indian Ocean. My heart breaks over such a huge loss.

Maybe Sept 11th altered my outlook a bit. I do remember clearly relating to my wife and a few of my friends at different times a few weeks prior to 9/11/01 that I had a weird feeling that something big was about to happen. I was visiting a counselor (read: shrink without drugs) at the time to keep me from wrecking my marriage, and even he thought that was a bit odd, in a sort of accepting-yet-condescending way. I couldn’t say at all what this event was going to be, or even if it was good or bad, I just knew it was going to be very big. I never had an experience like that prior. Perhaps this has fueled my temptation look for disasters under every rock and weather anomaly. I may be the next budding Nostradamus. I bet he didn’t have revolving debt.

The real tragedy for people like me, is that we can get worked up about this looming disaster crap, and ignore far more dangerous issues sitting in our own backyards, or rather, in our own hearts. So what if Chinese forces attack us from Mexico? So what if both US coasts slide into the sea? I'm all in favor of ecological responsibility, but in reality, death is coming one way or the other. With global drama or without. All at once, or one at a time. The more important question is, what of the state of my heart? And the hearts of those I care about? And those I live near? And everyone else on the planet? It seems to me that drama and disaster (like the evening news) are more appealing to sensationalism junkies like me than taking care of the things that matter most.

For some reason, some of these thoughts had me reading about near-death experiences over the holiday weekend. Strange (read: really strange) stuff. New age folks eat it up like wheat germ. Evangelicals seem suspicious, since people regularly lack any report of judgment and thrones and angels with harps. And nobody asks “why should I let you into heaven” questions, fishing for the I’ve Accepted Jesus As My Personal Savior thing. People leave their body, go through a tunnel, and meet a being of light, but this person is not exactly identified, and he is rather easy on most people. I guess that makes sense, having just died and everything.

I really don’t know what to think of all this stuff, but it does seem to happen frequently. Reports from kids are pretty much the same as adults. Some estimate 8 million in the US alone. There are a couple physicians out there recording information immediately after people are revived. The good/bad experience ratio is about 50/50, unless you interview these same folks days later … then you find that everyone with a negative experience seems to have forgotten about it. It’s just too scary for the mind to hold on to.

And here I am, back to the issue of why I don’t pray. It’s not that I never pray. I just don’t spend time with God the way I do with people I have a healthy relationship with ... or rather, the way I imagine I should. What’s sadder is that I’ll take the time to set these thoughts down in a blog for both of you to read. Maybe I should put these minutes in the “prayer” column.

Small

Man enjoys smallest small group

WESTCHESTER — Stu Clark belongs to what is believed to be the smallest small group in America: himself.

"I meet at my house every week in the living room," he says. "I bring snacks and my Bible, and after some chit-chat I get down to discussing that week's reading, sharing my burdens, my praise reports. Then I pray for myself."

He enjoys the intimacy he has gained with himself over the weeks, he says.

"There was a lot about me I didn't know," he says. "The small group setting brings out those personal details you might not otherwise share."

Sales Pitch

One of the most creative websites I've ever seen

Gobble?

Brendar, my friend, apparently you have job insecurity. Man has finally harnessed the incredible power of turkey shit.

What a world.

Bishop of OM

// begin mushiness //

A guy’s guy. He promised to comment if is sufficiently schmoozed, so here’s my shot. Honestly, I know only a few that seem as truthful. Wouldn’t it be a different world if people both told you the truth, and gave a crap what was going on in your life? I don’t really know this dude. That only happens over time and plenteous life experience, but I know I’m right about this.

// end mushiness //

A Christmas Memory

A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote.

A remarkable short story. Worth the read.

Honesty

“I think a healthy outlook is to care for every part of your life in proportion to its significance.”

I wrote that as a reply to a recent blog by Brendar. I do believe that’s true. Family, relationships, gainful work, food, fun, learning, creative expression, exercise, cleaning my nostrils, scratching itchy places, paying taxes. In that order.

The thing that continues to absolutely astound me about that idea is: at the same time I think I really know how important prayer is -- I just don’t do it. That confession doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is to me.

I do flatter myself thinking I really understand the significance of this communion-with-God thing, but I do know some. Enough to be responsible for my laziness.

Not sure what to do about that. I’ve long felt that what we really believe (to be important, true) reveals itself in our daily actions and activity. Talk to me all you want. Show me what you really think. This is troubling.

White Hot

Sometimes there is no particular event or "comfort" that precedes it. Sometimes the overwhelming love of God for his children is made fresh by an experience or an observation. I got a chance to watch the film Luther with Dave and Chappy last night. It wouldn't take long to figure out why his story would provoke those thoughts. The actor playing Luther did a remarkable job at times showing Dr. Luther's intense passion for people to really understand how much God loves them. White-hot, zealous, unstoppable love.

Luther aside, I am absolutely convinced that we don't get it. At least I know for sure that I don't. Not even a little. If we caught even a momentary glimpse we would be so overcome that it might stop our heart in terrified wonder. Perhaps that will be the fearful door we will be asked to enter in faith when we give up this shell. To walk through it without that faith would simply be too frightening a prospect. We might be consumed. Truth is, we will be. Some of us already are.

Old Man

I renewed my driver's license today (42 days overdue). I looked at the pic from 2000, and compared to the new ID ... apparently I am aging along with the rest of the sea of humanity. 39 is not exactly ready for the folks home, but it ain't no high-school deal either. I get sore more often. I wake up with aches and ailments. I am slowly dying. This is easy to deny when you are young and virile ... I don't mean to wax melodramatic ... but I see the giant coming over the hill.

I am looking forward to being a dirty old man. Since I am an upright dirty middle-aged man, I doubt that I will change that much.

There's the thing. Change. I hate it and I love it. It scares me. I see my philosophy of life and my core assumptions shifting and changing far more frequently than I would have expected for a guy approaching 40. That's for college students, eh? Apparently not. What a wild ride this is.

"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?"

The Christian faith at it’s core offers the most ridiculous propositions: the Creator of the universe, being both separate from it and actively sustaining everything within it each moment, has somehow become a creature, and offers to live within each person who receives him. This is all logical impossibility. If this first and central idea (Trinity) is paradox … if the ball gets rolling on the acceptance of “truths” that betray my very understanding of what can be true, then it seems probable that this would lurk elsewhere. If I decide to pitch camp in this faith, I need to stop insisting that things always make sense.

The irony is, the older I get, the more things seem to make sense. The problem of evil is a necessary result of freewill. Legitimate tensions of ideology: liberal/conservative, Catholic/Protestant, rational/intuitive, change/permanence, etc. seem to serve as discouragement to make an idol of my own convictions.

My own inclination to regard the world with a fundamentalist mindset is a good example of this temptation toward idolatry. I use that term to describe my strong impulse to draw black-and-white conclusions about things. The difficult and fearful concerns of the world need to be placed in tight, convenient containers that allow me to secure explanation and then move about my business with smug confidence.

I am not master. I have not called everything into existence. I find purpose and freedom in submission and dependence.

A Nation Divided

"America has two great dominant strands of political thought ... conservatism, which at its very best draws lines that should not be crossed, and progressivism, which at its very best breaks down barriers that are no longer needed or should never have been erected in the first place."

-- President Clinton at the Dedication of the Clinton Presidential Center 11/18/04

self forgetfulness

It's like in the movies: the projector shouldn't be seen as part of the screen. If it is -- if a part of it is hanging loose, say, and blocking part of the lens -- then the picture is messed up. You see, the projector isn't designed to project itself, but to project the movie. We're like that projector. We were designed by God to know and love and praise and enjoy him and his other children and his world. Instead, we keep getting in our own way. Selfishness and self-regard are like pieces of self, pieces of the projector hanging down and blocking the light. They get in the way of what we're designed to do. In self-forgetfulness ... we approach our original design, at least a little closer, for a little while.

-- Peter Kreeft, Prayer: The Great Conversation

Kerry Consolation

Potato Hugger

It happened this summer at least three or four times. I'm cruising along a quiet road by myself early on a Saturday morning, drinking in the air and sun. They are usually perched in a low bush -- maybe 5 or 6. Male goldfinches. I roll by their hangout, and they must recognize me. Except for the bike, and a helmet that would make a bald head sunburn like Darth Maul, I look just like them. I have on all black, and a bright yellow "breast" (easy now).

So these little guys all jump out of the bush and fly alongside me for (I'm not making this up) at least 200 yards. They bob up and down like poppers on big waves, but they stay with me. I have convinced myself that these birds, being pretty and everything, get harassed by larger, uglier male birds. They hit jackpot when they see a 165lb goldfinch. "Steve! Did you see the size of that guy? He'd make a crow crap the nest! See if he wants to hang out." Then they figure it out, and shoot off to the right.

Every time I go riding, something unusual happens. When something unusual doesn't happen, it seems weird. Most often it's just the person I meet mid-way through the ride. Cyclists as a group are friendly, talkative, and interesting. That, of course is true of almost everyone (if you ask them questions), but the bike-comrade factor is powerful. We have a common enemy: rednecks in pickups who hug curbs and yell profanity.

Today I rode past a huge potato relaxing in the middle of the road. He wasn't sunning -- there was too much shade. I really don't know what got in to me, but I stopped and relocated the spud to the side so it wouldn't get plastered. Why the hell did I do that? I felt embarrassed as soon as I got back on. The thing is a root. Was I actually trying to save a root? I suppose that's better than aiming for the squirrels that jump out in the road. I do that sometimes too. Go figure.

Chutzpah

“… you rebuke offenders little by little, warn them, and remind them of the sins they are committing, that they may abandon their wickedness and believe in you …” Wisdom 12:2 (yes, that’s from a “deuterocannonical” book not found in your average Protestant Bible)

Word. This has been the picture for me lately, and it’s undeniably divine mercy that I don’t see the whole state of affairs all at once. These small steps are all I can normally handle. The frustrating thing is that I can now see more clearly the damage that I have done (and that still to play out), and wish that I knew earlier. I suppose I just wasn’t ready. Cripes ... what else is out there?

I have been protecting myself. I want approval, and I don’t want conflict, so I have not been honest with people, even those I care about. I know I don’t need to sling around “truth” like a RPG launcher, but I hold back to keep safe even when I know that the other really needs it. This week I have had the opportunity to cross my threshold of fear and try out the dangerous truth. What a relief for everybody involved.

Habits

Jon replied to the 10/29 entry: "Sometimes repetitive sin that you openly are aware of creates guilt and an undeserving feeling." This was such a good reflection; I figured I'd add a new entry as a reply.

I think the danger of habitual sin is not that God is watching to see when we will finally cross the line ... so he can squash us like bugs or exclude us from His presence against our will. The danger is that if we keep asking, just like the persistent widow, to repeat a theme: he gives us what we want.

Over time as we entertain habitual sin, we gradually loose the desire to fight it. If you are alive reading this, chances are, you know precisely what I mean. We become contented with our patterns of sin, and potentially, in the end, we prefer it (self) to God.

It may seem like a stretch, but I believe that in every case, sin is the search for some good, just using a wrong method or under the wrong circumstances. The adulterer is trying to obtain intimacy: significant connection with another. This desire in itself is very good -- we were designed for it. Even self-destructive behavior is often linked to God-given desires planted deep in us.

The deception is to think that either our internal desires, warped and corrupt as they may be, are the issue, or that our behavior is the issue. Rather, it boils down to selfishness – often choosing a very good thing instead of the best thing. Preferring creature to creator. That’s quite a mental shift. I suppose that’s why “conversion” is an apt phrase. We don’t just work on being good, and little by little score an A+. We are offered the change that radically transforms us from slavery to self, to being enabled by God to give ourselves away (even if there are frequent lapses into old habits).

But for most of us, those habits are just too comfortable, and change is just too scary. We don’t need to be good boys and girls. We need to get rid of our cowardice. Or, at least act like we are brave. Leaping is more courageous than having no fear of the drop.

Progressive Belief

Over chilly cans of Beck’s, a good friend and I were discussing love and commitment. He has come to the place where he believes it is in his own best interest to disengage from his family: he is separating from his wife.

I was saying that we gain the most personally not by seeking our own satisfaction, but by it's opposite: self-sacrifice. This includes the often-monotonous everyday hassles of life. I don’t think we agreed about this. I have the conviction that if my goal is me, I will get just that. That’s an ugly loneliness.

I suppose I have the same opinion about life in general. In the end, we get what we really want. I find it hard to believe that as we are ushered from this life to the next, we will try to make a case for unfair treatment due to a lack of understanding. If we ignore what we already know, God may “protect” us from further culpability by allowing us to darken our own understanding. But that’s not an excuse. Somewhere along the line, we ignored. The drunk didn’t know what he was doing when he grabbed the keys, then ran headlong into an SUV with a young mom and baby girl. But don’t try to tell him it wasn’t his fault. He lives guilt now. He did make the decision to keep drinking, and he knows he owns it, even if it's not as awful as intentionally doing it.

Life with or without God is a progressive acceptance or denial. Sin itself is progressive in the same way. Who or what is our God?

The Challenge

Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing."

Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!"

Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

Creative Diversion

Had a great deal of fun re-arranging the site format today. I hope it's easier to read. In any case, it's more my preference than the former.

Unforgivable

I believe there really is a sin that cannot be forgiven. No one is exempt. From the holiest to the most lowly (although, there is truly no difference).

The unforgivable sin is this: final refusal of God's forgiveness. In daily life, I think this usually takes the form of denial of the need to be forgiven. Even when we acknowledge our desperate situation, we often believe that God is unwilling to forgive.

We are busy about justifying our actions, mindset, activity … or lack of it. When we look honestly at ourselves and see the selfishness that motivates our actions, we become free to call our situation as it is.

I watch my 12-year-old son frequently, and with remarkable conviction, deny his own wrongs. So much so, that he really believes his own excuses. My heart goes out to him. He is just a smaller version of me. But his struggle is an important one -- I know he needs to go through it. He (like us) needs to understand his actions (and lack of action), and the consequences. We need to be honest with ourselves and our maker about these things. It is impossible to really grab the rope if you don’t believe you are drowning.

For many of us, trusting that God is going to hold the rope tight is a daily struggle. I wrestle with this a great deal. I think it’s the root of why I don’t pray. On some level, I just don’t think God gives a crap. The only way out (that I can tell) is when I trust God with my will, in spite of how I feel. Exercising that muscle seems to lend to freedom of use. It may sound trite, but I simply need to be faithful in the small daily things. I can’t think my way into faith, or shortcut this process. I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work.

That's what I'm talkin about ...

Fear

In a conversation at work last Friday with Karen and Laurie, I asked why people often seem afraid to be direct with me. They both let me know that it was because I am “too nice”. I know they didn’t mean that I needed to be more of a jerk (were that possible), they meant that when I’m not direct with other people, they don’t feel comfortable being direct with me. I qualify and cushion any negative comments so much that you can hardly get my point, and people wonder what I’m really thinking. Some of the guys have cared enough to let me know the same.

I have a friend named Mark who hails from upstate NY. Maybe that geography is not relevant, but the thing I really appreciate about this guy is his brutal authenticity. You don’t always like what he says, it’s not always favorable, but you know exactly where he stands. And when he communicates concern you know he means it.

I want to be more like Mark. I think I’m mainly too afraid to say what I really think. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I am a slave to social approval. Not in every case, but too much. Need to work on that.

Joe

Like most, I nurture a long and convivial addiction. Perfect mix of ritual, fragrance, flavor, habit, and stimulant. I could easier give up beer than java, and that’s saying something. I have been told that the precaffeinated Gar is somewhat less than (ahem) amicable. Feck ‘em. If anyone wishes social intercourse, I must be sufficiently aroused, or sedated …

Beer and smokes with the guys. A martini in the early evening with my wife while she makes dinner (that’s one sweet deal). Seems like this drug-and-conversation shtick isn’t just me, but I’m surprised how powerful it is. The atmosphere is so essential, and much of that is the drink. We can communicate without it (one would hope), but there is some sort of distraction about it that brings the guard down, apart from the physiological effect.

I was watching a History Channel program about moonshining during the prohibition, and they observed that if government attempts to remove booze from a culture, it finds it’s way back almost immediately and with remarkable efficiency. Been that way for 7000 years. They also pointed out how during the early colonial period more alcohol was consumed per person (including children!) than at any other time in US history: something like a whopping 50 gallons of beer per person per year. I almost choked on a chip: that don’t seem like much … perhaps it was the Golden Monkey? Those puritans knew how to party.

Leadership vs. Dominance Part II

The last post on this topic was a bit brief. I thought I'd expand ...

God is our Father. The Church is a family, reflecting God's own nature: relationship. Any good parent has the right and responsibility to direct their children's actions via command and prohibition. As time goes on, and maturity takes place, this direction becomes more like consultation. The child no longer follows rules simply fearing the consequences of disobedience (compelled behavior), they see the reasons and principles behind the instruction, decide to embrace that, and choose appropriate directions themselves (induced behavior).

I read an article recently that seemed to imply that hierarchical command-and-control management is really ineffective and dishonoring. Preference should be given to "chaordic" leadership, where leadership spontaneously appears from different individuals to address the need of the moment.

"Induced behavior is the essence of leader/follower. Compelled behavior is the essence of all the other relational concepts. Where behavior is compelled, there you will find tyranny, however benign. Where behavior is induced, there you will find leadership ..." -- The Art of Chaordic Leadership, Dee Hock

This is correct, but the author fails to explain why. The growth process which begins with "command management" (early parenting) needs to take place to facilitate the process of maturity. When this process is cut short, growth cannot occur. This is relevant to our personal emotional maturity, our personal spiritual growth, and corporate spritual growth of the church.

The law is not eliminated by the gospel, it is fulfilled by it. In the New Covenant, the Spirit's presence, direction, and power now rest permanently within the individual follower and within the church at large, to enable us to genuinely act from the motive of self-sacrificial love. But we don't necessarily always rely on that direction and power. Sometimes we ignore it.

Is fear (and behavior compelled by it) wrong? No, just immature. Are we really so far along as individuals or as church that we can disregard God's commands? Don't we occasionally look to the law to keep our selfish tendencies in check? No matter how much growth takes place, to some degree we are always spiritual children. We simply need to continue the process of growing up. I would argue that disregarding the usefulness and validity of law will stunt growth, not facilitate it. Law was never intended to provide salvation; commands are not a replacement for mature motivations. The law cannot save us, because the law only describes love: as measure to compare our actions to. It does not enable us to love.

Form Over Content

Politics has become an art of form-over-content. Religious messages have taken the same tack. It is taboo to really suggest that x or y is true. The majority of effort is invested in making sure the listener/recipient will respond positively. To hell with the veracity of the content. Will the ratings go up? Will the election be won? Will our numbers grow? Tickle, tickle.

There are times when speaking truth draws harsher reactions than just criticism. But that is also not the issue. There is not so much a fear of negative response, as much as a fear of loss of sales. We have all become religious and political consumers. Perhaps it has always been so?

I don't know what the hell happened to my 10/15 blog, but many of the ideas are represented here: www.soulhorizon.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=6514&sid=1fa26c81afbc24e46090f4fb0202213b

ips

Leadership vs. Dominance

Opportunities Require Discernment

Excerpted from this week's "Monday Manna" from CBMC by Robert J. Tamasy

"When opportunity knocks, be certain to answer the door!" This is sound advice, without question, but it should come with a word of caution: Just because an opportunity presents itself, it is not necessarily the right opportunity for you.

There are other times when opportunities need to be considered in terms of your own limited time and personal resources. It’s not that an opportunity is wrong or bad; it simply may require more energy than you can give to it, or it may prevent you from acting upon even more suitable opportunities. Oswald Chambers, in My Utmost For His Highest, writes, "The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best" (May 25).

What a striking thought: Good being the enemy of the best! If this statement is true, how do we distinguish good opportunities that come our way from the best opportunities? Particularly because what is merely good for one person, based on his or her interests, skills and gifts, would be the best endeavor for someone else? For instance, assuming a key leadership role in a volunteer organization may prove ideal for one individual, while the same role could cause great frustration for someone else with equal ability whose interests lie elsewhere.

In addressing any area of uncertainty in life, including enticing opportunities, careful discernment is indispensable.

Think through opportunities carefully before acting on them. When a new situation seems appealing, especially compared with what we presently are involved with, we can easily respond impulsively, without thinking through all the possible ramifications. The best time to correct a bad decision is before you make it.

"The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception."
Proverbs 14:8

"A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps."
Proverbs 14:15

Consider opportunities rationally; don’t let your ego get in the way. "You would be the perfect person for the job!" Has anyone said something like this to you? It’s flattering to hear such things, but no one knows you as well as you do. Sometimes people offer such encouragement to persuade, knowing a job needs to be done -- and you seem to be the only one available to do it. Don’t be swayed by words that puff up your ego.

"The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on folly."
Proverbs 15:14

Sometimes the best opportunity is the one you are already engaged in. Many of us like variety, and in any job there are times when it seems boring and routine. At such times we may start thinking about doing something new and fresh and different. But if not carefully evaluated, a drastic change can prove disastrous.

"A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth."
Proverbs 17:24

Radical Here & Now

Resting partway between the River Dave, and the Lake of Brendar is the small hamlet of Gar.  Oh look!  The village idiot is about to say something...
 
So what exactly does obedience to God's call look like?  Do we sometimes say yes to the radical for self-serving motivations?  Perhaps we struggle with the desire to nurture our complacent status quo, unwilling to take a risk?  “Yup” twice.
 
I am thinking that we need to start with obedience to where God has put us, and openness to where he is going.  We need to be willing.  Willing to give everything.  Willing to take action.  Attentive to our situation right now.
 
Jeremy (6) has an older sister Katie (8) who was not progressing well in her fight against Polycystic Kidney Disease.  One of her kidneys had failed, the other was close to failure, and she was increasingly dependent on dialysis.  Katie's physicians had come to the conclusion that her best chance for survival was to receive a new kidney from a compatible donor.
 
After months of waiting, a suitable donor could not be found, and Katie's condition became grave.  It had been discovered shortly into this process that Jeremy was a perfect candidate for donation.  The operation presented some risks to both children, but the chances of survival were very optimistic.
 
Jeremy's parents asked him at home if he would be willing to donate a kidney to his little sister, so that she could move off the machine, and have a better chance to get well.  Jeremy thought carefully about the proposition, and after only a few moments decided yes -- definitely, he wanted to donate to his sister that he loved so much.  His parents were pleased, and somewhat surprised that he was so willing.  The arrangements were made.
 
The morning of the transplant, Katie and Jeremy were talked through the procedure as much as reasonable for children of their age, and after kisses and some tears, Katie was sedated first.  Jeremy's parents then thanked him again and kissed him as he lay waiting for his anesthesia.  He then turned to his mother and asked with simple acceptance, "Mommy, is this when I die?"
 
His parents were completely stunned at the misunderstanding, but so much more at Jeremy's willingness to give his life for his sister -- and so unselfishly!  They emphatically reassured him that he was not going to die, and that this was just a way for Jeremy to help his sister.  He quietly replied, "ok," and was put to sleep.
 
His parents and the attending hospital staff never forgot that amazing demonstration of unconditional, self-sacrificial love. 
 
Maybe you know that story.  I'm sure I butchered it.  No clue if it is true or not.  But it speaks to me -- and maybe it speaks to this issue.

Think it Your Way

We can't help but see the world through the lens of our own experience, understanding, and existing beliefs.  Faith is no different -- unless God decides to intervene and reveal himself.  Fortunately he does this, but his interventions are also in this same category.  We can understand truth only in the context of what we already believe to be true.  What are those assumptions?  How do we discern when "revelations" are from God, and not our own ideas ... or perhaps from a darker source?

"In essentials, unity ..."  -- Amen!  But who decides what issues are essential?  As modern (or post-modern) Americans, we all take up that responsibility individually.  At least we like to think that.  This seems a bit contradictory.  If we ultimately see ourselves as responsible for discerning the voice of the Spirit in matters of truth, there really is no purely external rule we apply to our beliefs, since every apparent external rule (scripture, history, etc.) is subject to our own understanding and interpretation -- or more precisely: the understanding of those who taught us.  Are we (they) correct?  How do we know?

I have a friend who is going through a painful separation from his wife.  It appears to me that this is his decision, and he is experiencing the consequenses.  His primary reason for doing this is that he feels compelled to understand and re-think why he believes what he does.  Much of his beliefs have previously seemed to him to be built on foundational assumptions that he does not see the basis for.

His story is dramatic, and if I am honest with him, his response to his own questioning is quite selfish, but in an important way, his questions are quite valid.

To blog or not ...

I have very few meaningful thoughts to share, so I am apparently a superior candidate for blogdom.

I have read several other blogs, and found that we are all putting good effort into making our thoughts known. We are all like this, I think. We need to be known. I experience tremendous stress when I feel misunderstood. I suppose that's common. I feel very comforted when I sense I have been understood. This is not a middle-school phenomenon -- we just get better at hiding it or lying to ourselves about it as we age -- though some geriatrics don't give a rip what people think anymore. Looking forward to that stage of life!